I don’t refer to women as “hoes.” It’s crass, judgmental and rude, and too, it’s a term solely created to police women’s sexual experiences while men’s sexual adventures are encouraged as part of the personal development. But “hoes be winning” was a popular catchphrase in 2011, fueled by the come-up of unliked reality stars who garnered rocks, video vixens who got red carpet shine next to ballers and a specific genre of single woman who was bitter and needed any excuse to tear down another woman who had what she didn’t. Consider my use of “hoes” as necessary for today’s conversation, perhaps the equivalent of an adding “a ‘m*****f***er’ so you ig’nant n****s hear me.” (Cue Lauryn)
The initial question was actually asked by a commenter on NecoleBitchie.com in response to a story that Drake had spent New Year’s Eve, not with video model Dollicia Bryan. Earlier in the week, her team released a press statement announcing that she and Drake were an item. “Yes, Drake and Dollicia are dating,” said the rep. “They’re both in L.A. right now spending the holidays together.” It seemed believable enough, as Drake recently tweeted a picture of Dollicia at Saddle Ranch restaurant in L.A.
But then Saturday night came, and Drake appeared on Carson Daly’s NYE countdown show, attempting to keep warm with his ex, Zineb “Nebby” Samir. Maybe you’ve heard of Nebby. Drake appeared on Toronto’s FLOW 93.5 and declared she was the inspiration beyond his first hit single “Best I Ever Had.” More recently, he name-dropped her on “‘Look What You’ve Done” where he raps, ‘It’s like ’09 in your basement and I’m in love with Nebby / And I still love her but it fell through because I wasn’t ready.‘
Drake’s dating track record is worse than Joe Budden and Kanye combined, but there he was, aired before, literally, one billion viewers, bunned up with the girl who was there before he was at the top of game but still in the game. (He was on Degrassi: The Next Generation at the time they dated.)
Sean “Diddy” Combs sharing New Year’s with his ex, Kim Porter (also mother to three of his children), seemed to offer hope to long suffering women with “history” as well. The pair hosted a Ciroc party in Miami for New Year’s Eve, which meant Combs was away from his upgrade of interest, Cassie (or, er Cameron Diaz, depending on reports), and beside his ex.
Between Drake’s seeming return to a good girl, a pretty ex without a public history of attention-seeking or alleged gold-digging, and Diddy’s choice to spend NYE with one of his children’s mothers, some women got hopeful that maybe 2012 could be the year some guys smarten up and finally realize what a good thing they had.
Or has, in the case of LeBron James or Jim Jones. James put a ring on the finger of his high school sweetheart Savannah Brinson, who stood by him for decade and birthed his two children. Just after the stroke of midnight, he dropped to one knee in the middle of a New Year’s celebration at Miami Beach’s Shelborne hotel. And on this week’s episode of Love & Hip-Hop, Jones proposed to Chrissy Lampkin, his girlfriend of seven years.
With all the high profile men spending time with or recognizing “the real thing”, have the tables turned? Are the women so many don’t call “hoes” going to win in 2012?
Demetria L. Lucas is the author of “A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life” (Atria) in stores now. Follow her on Twitter @abelleinbk