Immediately, it’s apparent: Karrine Steffans likes to talk, and her beef today is with source-less media, specifically Rolling Out. The urban entertainment site has offended the LA resident by blasting a list of her alleged ex-lovers, sex game ratings included.
“Half the list I don’t even know,” she states in frustration. “It’s so gauche, it’s so pedestrian. There are so many things that are beneath me. I am a three-time New York Times bestseller, I sold a bunch of books all around the world and I’ve been on Oprah. I do things that other people can’t do; I’m over here working. What I’m not over here doing is [going] online making lists.”
Or joining the cast of Basketball Wives LA, she says.
Rumors flew recently that the Drink, Fuck, Sleep writer would become the newest victim of reality TV lenses, maybe even adding some much needed excitement for the West Coast clique. Although, she stalled the rumor mill (for now), Vixen snatched up an hour with her to discuss the popular VH1 show, her objections to female friends, the 10-year anniversary of Confessions of a Video Vixen and how she reacted to Lil Wayne’s seizure news.–Niki McGloster
Do you know how that rumor hit the ‘net?
Someone told me that a cast member went to MediaTakeout and told them I was going to be on the show as a ploy to boost ratings because it was losing so much hype. So I called a particular cast member who I heard spread the rumor and she’s been dodging me which is weird.
Jackie Christie? The word is you two are friends.
[Laughs] I’m not going to say, but I called a particular cast member to ask. This is the second time that they’ve done that. The first time was for the first season. When I call her, no answer. Text message, no answer. Called her again, no answer.
No, never. I don’t own the show, and I always remember and apply something that Magic Johnson taught me years ago—power is in ownership. If I don’t own it, I don’t want to be a part of it.
You did make an appearance once, right?
Yes, that was enough. I didn’t particularly like the experience. After I was on the show, there was a strange string of events. I started getting phone calls from people on the show and saying things like, “After you left, such and such said this and that about you.”
Exactly. ‘The such and such sisters didn’t like you.’ I’m not interested in drama. All my friends are men, so I don’t do the catty things that girls do. One of the main reasons why I wouldn’t be part of an ensemble cast full of women because it’s just not what I do. I don’t hang out with women in my real life and I don’t want to do it on television.
You’ve never been a girl’s girl?
I was a tomboy growing up. I’m not a girly girl. I don’t like wearing makeup, I don’t like wearing heels, I don’t wear eyelashes.
Since Confessions of a Video Vixen, you’ve almost completely separated yourself from the hip-hop world. Tell me about how you’re moving forward?
VV: Since Confessions of a Video Vixen, you’ve almost completely separated yourself from the hip-hop world. Tell me about how you’re moving forward?
KS: When people readConfessions, they felt that it was happening right now. Those stories were old. It was something that I was involved in for a year or two then got out of because it was not conducive to my lifestyle. I didn’t grow up in hip-hop. I didn’t grow up listening to it. I didn’t grow up in an urban society. I don’t get the struggle. Right now, I got four books lined up: two more autobiographical pieces and two self-help pieces regarding sex, love and relationships. Even though I haven’t missed a beat and books are coming out every two years as usual, I switched over to writing for TV.
The books and the TV, they’ll go hand in hand.
Exactly. We’ve been actually talking to Queen Latifah and Shakim [Compere] about them producing the one-hour scripted version of Confessions for cable with me. This is the space I’m in, so when you talk to me about Basketball Wives, I’m like, I’m executive producing my own shows based on two of my books.
Do you feel like your audience is stuck on Confessions and that salacious subject matter?
Yes. They won’t get beyond it. I think people are stuck in general, even in their own lives. They don’t leave their neighborhoods, they’ll never leave their city, they will never see and do the things they are capable of doing and seeing. They will never grow. When you go beyond them so that you’re a star and they can’t touch you, that bothers people to their core. Confessions was fucking shocking not for any culture but this particular culture. Kirstie Alley came out with a book telling everybody she slept with down to John Travolta and no one in that culture cares in the way that urban culture did [with Confessions].
Are those some of the things that you’re going to tap into when you write your autobiography?
Yes. Confessions will have its 10-year anniversary in 2015. There are things that people have read about that I haven’t spoken about in the last 5 or 6 years. People don’t even understand how complex and crazy things got for me.
Seven years beyond that book, where are you mentally? Who are you today?
VV: Seven years beyond that book, where are you mentally? Who are you today?
KS: A lot of wonderful things happen when you turn 30 and beyond. I am in an amazing place. I’m in a place in my life where I really don’t give a shit. I give less of a shit now than I did 7 years ago.
About men or life in general?
Life in general, men included. I don’t care if you like me or if you don’t like me. I care about the people that are in my house. I care about the money I have to make to support my family. Life is short, super short and a lot of people are dying unhappy. I’m not going to do that. No matter where it happens, no matter when it happens, I’m going to be happy on that day. I’ve wasted a lot time in relationships. I’ve always been a sucker for relationships and the men in my life, and it’s always been the one thing that torments me.
How long were you with your most recent ex-husband?
We were together up until a couple of months ago, while I’m still married to my second husband, while I’m still in Vegas with Lil Wayne. All this is going on at the same time
It seems that you would be happy with Wayne. What stops you from truly making that relationship work?
My first husband [Darius McCrary] and I were good friends for like eight years before we started dating, then we got married and that marriage was tumultuous. It ended in divorce but we were still living together after our divorce, then all of a sudden I up and married someone last year unbeknownst to [Darius], just so I could end that relationship. The person that I’m married to now, I don’t even know this person. It was really just for show.
To get out of your first marriage?
Yeah, it was very difficult to break those ties. But that didn’t even work because my first husband came back. People can say what they want to say about me, but I’ve had more husbands than women have had boyfriends. Men either marry a whore or cheat on his wife with one. You gotta cook, clean, fuck, suck, do everything and do it very well, and men will want you forever; I can’t shake Darius to save my fucking life. Wayne has been in my life this whole time.
Throughout all of his children, women, everything?
Wayne and I have kept a relationship through my two husbands, his three kids, three additional baby mamas, three of his albums, three of my books, three of his arrests, one year in prison and three engagements on his part. We are indestructible and I find it fascinating. I’m in constant contact with this person every day, every other day. He is a part of my being. I’m not me without him. He makes me very happy, [but] I couldn’t be with Wayne. I couldn’t live Wayne’s life.
What was your reaction to the news of his seizures?
I woke up in the middle of the night and I felt weird. I looked at my phone and had all these missed calls and messages. Some of them were from people that were in Wayne’s camp. My whole body started shaking because I didn’t know what happened yet. I had to go online and read it because no one was getting back to me right away, of course. I [remember] standing in the bathroom reading about him being sick online and me being really scared. I was in the bathroom pacing until I got the text message back from him, and I just started crying. I got one message back from him and he says, ‘Babe, I’m OK.’ Everyday after that we’ve been a little closer. That relationship is everything to me, but it’s not what people think it is. It’s not sexual and it’s not financial. It is very spiritual and he’s like my battery pack. When I’m down, when I’m in a really rough space, he always pulls me out of that and he has no idea what he’s done for me.
That’s probably a book in itself, just you and Wayne.
It’s an awesome relationship and and it’s something I do want to explore more in my life.