Nostalgia much? Murder Inc.’s Ja Rule and Irv Gotti visited Power 105.1’s The Breakfast Club on Thursday to reminisce on old ghosts they’d rather leave buried. It was a compelling hour of realness. Backstories to the stories that were once major headlines were spilled gracefully. Who knew J. Lo’s beef with Irv was over a quote he gave ELLE (he was high on Ecstasy and called her a liar)? Particularly interesting was when the conversation turned to infidelities in the guys’ marriages.
Irv honed in on the fact that he did cheat, but Deb’s life is great now because of everything he’s done for his family financially. It was almost an infomercial selling the idea that foulness in a marriage can be overlooked if the wife is driving multiple luxury cars.
DJ Envy interjected as the voice of reason. “I bet Deb would trade that in.”
“That’s what they say,” Ja said as everyone laughed.
That’s bullsh*t!” Irv said. “I don’t believe that. I would love to hear the answer to that from Deb.”
Is it BS, though?
Irv’s reality show “Gotti’s Way” painted it a slightly different way. His estranged wife at the time desperately wanted her husband home with his family. And faithful. She was fighting to be with a man who was blatantly telling her he couldn’t give her what she expected. Of course I’m merely speculating, but I think there is a time she would have given up the mink coats. That said, Deb wasn’t flashy at all—for a devoted husband.
All this talk about famous men cheating has me pondering on whether the women undoubtedly know their man isn’t going to be faithful. On Love and Hip Hop or Basketball Wives we’re reminded weekly of women marrying rappers or athletes who weren’t faithful in the relationship. Women are smart enough to know marrying a cheating man doesn’t make him faithful, which leads me to see Irv’s point as valid. Are “regular” women who marry famous men willing to accept the deception, lonely nights and tears because of the new lifestyle that’s attached to being the wife of [insert famous rich man here]?
Across the board, cheating within a marriage is slightly above 50 percent for both women and men. If the average woman thinks there’s a 50 percent chance her average man will cheat, it’s not at all unlikely that some women are willing to take the risk with higher stakes in a higher income bracket. The thought is, “Girl, if I’m going to get cheated on anyway, I may as well be with a rich dude.” Only it’s never that simple.
Through reality shows and interviews with ex-wives, you kind of get the idea that many of the women “marrying up” don’t expect unfaithful husbands. As a woman who has very little access to dating celebrities, I find this notion odd. I would always, always, expect a famous man—especially a rapper or athlete, sorry—to cheat at some point. Isn’t it what you’re signing up for?
None of that is to suggest the blame belongs on anyone other than the cheater. These women don’t deserve that kind of heartache. And despite popular opinion, many of the women truly love their man and were around long before the riches. Whether or not they’d trade in the fabulous life for a loving, faithful husband is something only the women in those Giuseppe shoes can answer.
Someone get Deb and Ja’s wife on the phone. We want to hear the answer.