We can’t help the things we love. If we’re obsessed with an artist, we turn into a stan, if we love a drink, we tend to OD, and our penchant for bad boys is our guilty pleasure. We ran across a particularly entertaining Instagram post, “Things hoes love” and couldn’t stop laughing. While most are stereotypical statements tend to ring true, we felt some obvious ones were missing. On this slow, mid-holiday work day, flip the page for a few laughs to get you to Happy Hour.
Dudes in Jail
What is it about guys with a record that make them an automatic ten in some girls’ books?
It’s okay to support the celebs we love, but when you start to fight over social media about a celebrity or reality star that doesn’t know you, you’re officially a stan.
Instagram Model Pics
If the only modeling pictures you have are Instagram posts, don’t put “model” in your Instagram bio.
Reality TV Shows (LHH, RHOA,BGC)
If every night of the week is scheduled around catching cast fights, and binging on bad acting; you belong on this list.
Thot Juice (Lima-A-Ritas)
This cocktail has officially replaced the cosmo as the go-to cocktail for Girls’ Night Out.
Free before 12
If you time your entry based on when they start charging (ie. between 11pm-1am), we’re talking about you.
Not just any faux locks, we’re talking the 20+ inches in hair, the 7 different colors added like blue and purple, and having it far too long with no upkeep.
When your night starts before the cover charge does and ends when the free drinks stop flowing.
If you don’t own your own place or car, but everything you wear is designer (Louis Vuitton, Christian Louboutins, Gucci), this is you.
Can’t say we’re fans of Ugg boots (aren’t they short for “ugly”?), but if these are your dress-down and dress-up staple shoe, you fall in this category.
Unless you’re a lesbian, faking for followers means you qualify for this list.
Times are hard, we get it; if you need financial assistance, there is no shame in that. But if you’re selling your food stamps when you know you need them, you fall in this category.
Leggings are cute and convenient, but there aren’t for everybody. Add some variety to your wardrobe and lose the leggings.
Other Girls’ Boyfriends
What is it about a happily-taken man that some women find so attractive? If he has a ring on his finger, it’s like a green light for unhappy women to wreck a happy home.
This can be a great gig, but doesn’t have to be the ultimate for women that have the ability, but not the drive to go farther.
We’ve all been to Miami during spring break, but if you make this your only vacation destination, you might want to invest in a sexier getaway spot.
Black & Milds
If you can’t exist without daily pipe-puffing, we’re talking about you.
If half your party wardrobe consist of former T-shirts turned crop or pants transformed into distressed shorts, we’re talking to you.
IG Thirst Trap
If you post half-naked pics and caption them, “laying down bored,” we’re talking to you.
Victoria Secret Body Spray
As you mature, so should your taste in fragrances. If it doesn’t come in a glass bottle, don’t pick it up.