Award-winning producer, singer and songwriter Verse Simmonds has made a pit stop here on VIBE Vixen. The “Boo Thang” crooner will be contributing a blog to our site every Monday for the month of February. Because this is what we can call The Love Month, the BuVision/Def Jam signee will touch on love, sex and relationships from a man’s point of view, of course! He’ll be dishing on what the ladies want to know, need to know and just desire a man’s insight about. Get into it….
How in love with love are you? This is a question I think people should ask themselves when they think they are in love for the thousandth time. Personally, I think being in love is a miracle and an even bigger miracle if it happens more than once–kinda like lightning striking twice in the same place. God has assigned one soul mate to each person and you could find that person out of all the millions of people in the world; there has to be something magical about that. I say that to say this: I believe we at times are so in love with the idea of being in love that we forget about the things that matter most when trying to keep a healthy relationship. One thing that I feel is often overlooked is the friendship aspect of most relationships. People tend to hop right in, feet first. I honestly feel the best way to establish a meaningful relationship is to establish a friendship first.
There is no way you could know the potential of a relationship, if you don’t even really know who your partner really is–good, bad, inside and out. You have to be willing to accept them exactly the way they are, just as you would do with any other BFF. The only difference is the sexual nature of the relationship.
Ever wonder why you have had the same friends growing up and throughout most of your life but have jumped from one relationship to another?
A major factor is because we set restrictions and rules on our significant others that we don’t set on most of the people that we may consider our closest friends, allowing them to be a lot more real and upfront about who they are. Just imagine if you got to know the person you’re with that well! The sky’s the limit!
So instead of trying to change the person you are with, figure out who they really are and build from there. Either way, even if the relationship as lovers doesn’t work, you may at least be able to keep a great friendship. No one changes because you want them to but because they actually see a change in themselves that needs to be made. It takes a long time to truly get to know someone, and it becomes even more of a task when that person is on their best behavior trying to impress you. Sooner or later, that foot starts to get tired, and that’s where really getting to know someone and really being friends first comes into play.
Those are my thought. What are yours?