From rapper wifeys and jump-offs to reality show stars and all the drama queens in between, becoming a musician has become the side hustle du jour nowadays. We break down the ten worst offenders who picked up the mic but have yet to belt out a note or spit 16 bars worthy of our attention (or double-clicks). Adele and Nicki Minaj: Don’t worry about quitting your day jobs just yet.
Take a look at VIBE’s 10 Worst Vixens Turned Artists below!
From working the pole at Sue’s Rendezvous strip club to becoming the face of Louis Vuitton and Smirnoff, Amber is the quintessential vixen fairytale come true. Her eclectic look and streetwise sensibilities have made her a favorite from the runway to the sidewalk-snagging Kanye West and Wiz Khalifa along the way–but the Sinead O’Connor cut hasn’t given Amber the same musical luck.
Kanye’s current squeeze, Kim Kardashian, hasn’t fared much better in the studio. Kim is a marketing behemoth, hocking everything from weight loss supplements to sneakers that allegedly give you a red carpet-ready backside but even she couldn’t sell us on her vocals (Insert sex tape joke here) and The-Dream-assisted “Jam (Turn It Up)” was an utter failure. Somewhere Brandy’s little brother was definitely chuckling. —
Somaya was supposed to bring the “hip-hop” to Love & Hip Hop and we watched her from humble crawl space beginnings as she tried to collaborate with Jim Jones and find a song/style/manager that worked. Tiffs with cast member Olivia overshadowed her music ultimately but that hasn’t stopped “Boss” Reece from continuing to release songs. Have you heard her Spanish remix to Jay-Z and Kanye’s “Ni**as in Paris”? Yeah, neither have we.
Somewhere in between the Evelyn Lozada/Jennifer Williams throw down Kenya Bell tried to unsuccessfully launch a singing career on this season’s Basketball Wives. Even those without an actual career have haters apparently and Kenya released a diss track aimed at her unsupportive costars entitled “Hate Me.” Sadly, the closest thing Kenya has had to an actual hit so far was when Evelyn chucked a wine bottle at her. Ouch.
Before she lived happily ever after with her NFL hubby Kroy and their ever-growing family, Kim Zolciak was a burgeoning songstress on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. In between chain smoking cigarettes and guzzling down wine, the oh-so-serious artist dropped 2009’s “Tardy for the Party” and 2012’s “Google Me” (No relation to Teyana Taylor’s song of the same name). The wig-wearing bombshell even toured with legitimate singer Kandi Burress, which understandably caused Kandi to rethink/hate her entire career trajectory in several episodes.
Rappers love the mafia but French Montana took that obsession of Cosa Nostra a little too literally when he enlisted Mob Wives’ Drita to rap on his “Everything’s A Go.” We love Drita as the show’s resident spitfire but leave the actual spitting of hot fire in Staten Island to the Wu-Tang Clan. Okay? Thanks.
Tyra Banks had a less-than-fierce moment when she dropped her debut “Shake Ya Body,” a generic, Dark Child production that was most likely a track J. Lo and Beyonce passed on. Even Tyra knew it was a flop; being the consummate businesswoman, she flipped the music video as a challenge on America’s Next Top Model and never spoke (nor sang) of it again.
Music doesn’t always run in the family. Jim Jones’ mother dropped a diss song against his woman, Chrissy, called “Psychotic” and the end result was pretty much just that. With lines like “Yes I’m a grandma” and “Don’t respect me/I’m his mommy,” she clearly wasn’t going to be inducted into Dip Set any time soon.
Reality television’s newest enemy is hands down Joseline of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. The former stripper has no regrets about her “smashing for beats” reputation and openly cavorts with her producer Stevie J, despite the fact that he has a longtime girl. When she’s not seducing Stevie J, fighting for Stevie J, crying over Stevie J or flailing a positive pregnancy test at Stevie J, Joseline is recording music (Where does she find the time?) The season has barely begun and she already has enough drama to cut a mixtape, EP, album and greatest hits collection.