After nearly a month of waiting, Kimberly Denise’s mixtape has finally been Fed-Exed to front doors and leaked online. The Hip-Hop Snookie has been hyping up the release of her Black Friday CD with tons of shade, beef, and bad make-up contouring. Fortunately for her, the propaganda surrounding her issues with Nicki Minaj earned her lots of attention. Unfortunately for her, she made terrible use of that attention by charging fans for her mixtape, shipping it the month following its release, and complaining about her lack of paid homage.
Now that Black Friday is online and the Barbie wars are far past exhausted, folks just want to know what Lil’ Kim has delivered. Let me just say this: On completion of the mixtape, my Macbook slapped me like I was a cat named Stacks and said “Nigga, you could have had a V8.”
The majority of this tragic shit consists of “remixes” to the records of other artists, but they ended up sounding more like parodies of the originals. The ’90s Kim had a deeper, grittier, more aggressive growl on her tunes. This new heifer sounds like Sandy Cheeks with AutoTune and it’s unacceptable.
Intro: The mixtape immediately opens with Nicki Minaj shade and a beat that samples “She’s Your Queen To Be” from Coming To America…and I’m dead ass serious.
6 Foot Tall: Again with the Plucky Duck voice, Kim jumps on Lil Wayne’s “6 Foot 7 Foot” beat. Her flow was actually pretty good on this record, but at times it sounded like she was rapping with Funyuns in her mouth.
Kimmy Girl Rock: It took me four rewinds to realize that it was Kimberly auto-singing on here and not one of the girls from S Club 7. Keri Hilson could have kept this rock.
Gimme Brain: A remake of Travis Porter’s “Make It Rain.” This song was actually pretty well done, but that might just be my filthy adoration for sex records chiming in.
Exclusive Radio Interview: First of all…an interview on your mixtape? The sad thing is that Kim probably doesn’t realize how badly she told on herself. During this interview, the rapper mentions her false PayPal numbers for the sales of this same mixtape, which means she recorded this after selling them. So, the tape was not even complete when she started collecting money, but ghostwriters and studio time aren’t free.
Black Friday: The Nicki diss is the best part of the collection, the most authentic to the original Lil Kim, and just plain vicious.
“At the end of the day,” this mixtape is not worth 10 Zebra Cakes, let alone 10 dollars! It lacks consistency, edge, and originality. Kimmy definitely holds tight to great wordplay and punch lines, but she would have been better off auditioning for the part of a mythical creature in the next Narnia movie. This ain’t cuttin’ it!
Catch Kid Fury’s blogs on VIBE.com every Thursday.