BY JAMILAH B CREEKMUR, AUTHOR OF RAISED BY THE MISTRESS
I really cannot believe I am doing a blog for VIBE.com. Funny story real quick. When I was in college at the Fashion Institute of Technology, (F.I.T.) in New York City, I applied for an entry level position at VIBE magazine as a Fashion Assistant. I was interviewed by Emil Wilbekin at the time. I didn’t get the job and I was heartbroken. But I kept working hard and stayed focused.
Then I landed my position at Saks Fifth Avenue as an Assistant Buyer in Designer Handbags. (A girl’s dream department!) I loved it. And I still kept my subscription to VIBE magazine. ☺ But then you fast forward several years later, and I would be helping to build the brand of AllHipHop. Go forward a few more years, and I would be the key person negotiating a major multi-year business deal between AllHipHop.com and The VIBE Lifestyle Network. Talk about coming full circle. So needless to stay, I am very happy with the journey that my career path took. So thank you VIBE & AllHipHop for having me to sit at the table with both amazing brands.
And during all the time of being a student, interviewing at VIBE, working in the music & entertainment industry, negotiating deals, and eventually becoming a senior consultant, there was this other story brewing inside of me. Something that I shared with only a few people, but carried with me for many many years…. For over 20 years of my life, my mother was a Mistress. I never thought I would get to a point in my life where I wanted to talk about it publicly, let alone write a book about it. But I did. And boy did I ever! Many things took place in my life that I saw growing up as a little girl, that would shape the woman I have become today. And once I got comfortable with those things, I felt extremely compelled to share this story that is much bigger than myself, my mother and the married man that was a part of our lives for many years.
The truth for me was that as much as I despised what their relationship “represented,” there was this complicated “thing” inside of me that actually admired what I saw between them. They had one of the most pure and authentic relationships that I had ever seen. But how could that make sense?? It didn’t. And so began my inner struggles with understanding what love really meant. What marriage stood for. And lastly, what would all this mean for me. I was carrying heavy questions even as a little girl. And on top of all that, my mother struggled with alcoholism. And I struggled watching her.
I chose to write my book, as a form of closure for me personally. I wanted to move on with my life, and focus on the type of wife I wanted to be for my husband. And I also wanted to explore and discuss how infidelity really impacts the children and families involved. Today, our society almost glorifies what being a “mistress” represents. I mean, we hear more about mistresses than we actually celebrate marriages. It’s very distorted. Yet, it’s something that many people are dealing with in some capacity in their own lives, the same way I was. Especially since I was Raised by The Mistress.
Want to read more? Order a copy of Raised By The Mistress on Amazon.com