On Wednesday (August 24), the second episode of Bumble’s Luv2SeeIt show premiered with singer Jidenna and rapper-actor Joey Bada$$. The two, alongside Bumble user Whippa Wiley, spoke with host Teyana Taylor about their thoughts on open-relationships, polyamory and monogamy. Jidenna also shared his own journey with polyamory.
“When I started the polyamory thing, I was not like this,” Jidenna revealed to Taylor. “I did not know how to talk about what I was going through, and I didn’t know who to talk to, especially in the Black and Brown community. There’s not a lot of us.” However, Jidenna did share that he and his current partner are now monogamous after initially being open to dating others.
Taylor also shared her story about having threesomes with her husband Iman Shumpert at her own request. “People be surprised by how the woman initiates a lot of stuff,” she said. “I’m not poly, but when everybody heard that me and my husband had threesomes before, they were like ‘she’s willing to do that to keep a man,’ but that was all me!”
Discussing how women can initiate agreements in relationships, Jidenna responded with, “It doesn’t have to be an L. If you’re really about it, it doesn’t have to feel like ‘damn, I’m less of a man.’ It can actually feel like you’re more of a man because you believe in the power of the woman that you’re with.”
The Nigerian singer also shared a ritual he and his girlfriend do once a month to keep a strong foundation.
“[Most of our] crew does a monthly ritual with [our] partner; we do it on the full moon cycle,” he shared. “So, we have a bunch of candles around us, we might be butt naked, and we’re sitting… and talk about everything that’s been going on that month – so all your grievances, the things that went well, your desires… People are different without clothes on.”
Later in the episode, Joey Bada$$ and Wiley joined Taylor and Jidenna in the decorated RV to share their sides. Referring to a Lip Service interview in which Joey expressed wanting multiple wives, he responded with, “That’s how I felt in the moment. It’s not anything that I’m like seeking. It was just a disclaimer I had to put out there to the world like ‘by the way you know I’m fully capable of being in such situations.'”
He added, “I believe that most of us are out here dating and if you’re not in like an exclusive partnership with someone then its like kind of a form of polyamory. It’s just not as explicitly put.”
The four ended the conversation with a powerful statement about judgement on those who choose monogamy or polyamory. “Be very clear about what your needs are,” said Wiley. “Be very clear about what your terms are. Be very clear about what your boundaries are.” She continued with, “Find what works for you and go all the way.” Jidenna jumped in with, “And don’t throw the judgements at not living like somebody else’s life.”
Watch the full episode on Luv2SeeIt above.