DISCLAIMER: THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS BLOG DO NOT REPRESENT THOSE OF VIBE MAGAZINE OR VIBE.COM.
Latex, Lace, Lube, and a hint of sin — it sounds like a glimpse into Bow Wow and Omarion’s past, but this is about pop music’s new icon, Lady Gaga! I appreciate this woman’s talent along with her perception of music, life, and even her dingbat sense of fashion. However, I am through with my attempts at deciphering her music videos and other performances. Each time a new Gaga clip premieres, it seems to be some complex and nonsensical story of abstract fashion, sex, and that sharp nose of hers. This is all then pushed as a supposed philosophical, political, and/or psychological journey though the mind of a woman who wears Kermit the Frog gowns.
Let’s take the newest piece, “Alejandro,” for example. I had to watch that shit twice just to comprehend that it’s a passionate message on the homosexual community versus religion, and not a bunch of blaspheming butch queens shaking ass in hell and groping each other. Even after drawing that conclusion, there are still so many questions left unanswered. I mean, did she really have to place a cross on her Stanley Steamer (that’s Kid Fury speak for vagina), or guns on her brazier? After it all wraps up, most fans shout out how epic these things are and maybe experience multiple orgasms, which is wonderful. On the other hand, I feel like Lady Gaga could have made a video more suited to the song’s lyrics and spoke about this shit at NY Gay Pride. Then again, I don’t know what the fuck the song is about either.
Please don’t confuse my statements, because I truly do enjoy Gaga. She’s extravagant, intellectual, and she’s a visual cupcake, but I hit these Internet hills with the truth in my fingertips! Most of the freakish things that she does are expected of her these days and they are what led her to fame so promptly. If this would have been a music video where the chick walked down the beach in a sarong singing to the sunset, people would be puzzled. I believe she serves everyone her crazy pills simply because that’s what works for her. This is all fine and dandy, but I’m not playing The DaVinci Code with Ms. Gaga anymore. Don’t call my name!
— Kid Fury