It’s important to learn how to accept who you are and what you are before you get into a relationship. In Sheila’s case [from Why Did I Get Married] she was conscious of her body type.
Some women, no matter how much they work out, no matter how much they love themselves, they’re not gonna change their body type. You can change your body shape by permitting yourself to exercise and eat a healthy diet and so on⎯and we’ve heard miraculous stories of people who have lost hundreds of pounds and they look like a completely different person⎯but that’s not the norm for the average person and a lot of times people don’t get that way in a healthy way.
What I’ve known that has worked for other people who have taken it among themselves to change their lives, they just had to get to a place where they learned to love and accept themselves the way they are. Sometimes people only change what they look like for the acceptance of other people and that’s where you start going wrong. What you need to do is prioritize your acceptance of yourself and that’s one thing that [my character] says to Sheila in the movie, “If you don’t like the way you are then change it.” He didn’t save her, all he did was he happened to be her friend and encouraged her to do some of the same things and as a result of how he had done that, he was able to see what a beautiful person she was.
It’s not attractive to be talking down about yourself all the time. All you continue to do to yourself is pull yourself further down into a deeper place of depression and sadness and insecurity and fear and hopelessness so it’s like, having God in your life is important, accepting who you are is important, regardless of what you look like.
Purity of the spirit is important. A lot of people don’t focus on what’s going on inside and no matter what they look like, even sometimes when people do all this wonderful work or they are blessed naturally to look good on the outside, if their spirit is ugly⎯I don’t care how fine you are, if you’re ugly on the inside then you’re uglier. For people who are coming from other places, the people who are really superficial or selfish, they’re not really operating on a high conscious of a spiritual level and then they wonder why they’re not progressive or why they’re not fulfilled and happy with who they are.
Unless the real power of your personality is the power of good and the power from your soul, you’re never gonna be as beautiful and maximize your potential as a human being unless you do that work. So one of the most important things aside from what you’re thinking you need to look like or how pretty or attractive you think you are, is to know that nobody is gonna really be attracted to you and stay attracted to you unless you got that beauty coming from within. ⎯As Told To Starrene Rhett