Last night (Mar. 14), the time came for Justin Bieber to sit down and be constantly insulted by multiple people – better known as his Comedy Central Roast. The 21-year-old pop prince put his flaws on the chopping block for roast master Kevin Hart, Snoop Dogg, Ludacris, Shaquille O’Neal, Martha Stewart and countless others who not-so-patiently awaited the day.
Before it airs on Mar. 30, peep a few of the best jokes aimed at Justin Bieber’s head below:
“Tonight we are gonna do what parents and the legal system should have done a long time – give the boy an ass-whoopin’ he deserves.”
“Bieber has 10 million fans – most are in middle schools, or standing at least 500 feet away from one.”
“Ebola patients hear about ‘Bieber fever’ and say, ‘I’m gonna go ahead and ride this one out.’”
“You bought a monkey! I mean, that monkey was more embarrassed than the one that started the AIDS epidemic.”
“Justin as a father of six you have to straighten up, son. Last year, you were ranked the fifth most-hated person of all time. Kim Jong-Un didn’t rank that high. And he uses your music to torture people.”
“You act so much like a pussy, Ellen [DeGeneres] tried to eat you.”
Will Ferrell, playing Ron Burgundy:
“Justin Bieber is a full-grown man who works and loves and makes things with his hands. He sings to 9-year-olds and his hair is like a gay figure skater.”
“Sixty million Twitter followers? The only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower.”
“Selena Gomez wanted to be here, but she’s dating men now. Is it true you dumped her because she grew a mustache before you? Selena Gomez had sex with [you]… proving Mexicans will do the disgusting jobs Americans just won’t do.”
“If Anne Frank had heard your music, she would’ve Uber’d to Auschwitz.
“Justin, I don’t like your music. I think it’s bad, man. I hate your music. I hate your music more than Bill Cosby hates my comedy.”
“What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours.”