Back in February, we made 10 Off-The-Wall Grammy Award Predictions that we thought were pretty solid. But, as it turns out, we were dead $^%&!#@ wrong on every single one of them (who knew Nicki Minaj would show up with the “Pope”?!). And, we’re determined not to make the same mistake again! So, with the 2012 BET Awards set to air on Sunday night from the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, we thought long and hard before we decided to make any predictions. The result of all of our thinking is this list that includes 10 Off-The-Wall BET Awards Predictions that we guarantee will be right on Sunday night. Hey, there’s no way we can possibly do as bad as we did back in February again, right? Er, right?!—Chris Yuscavage
Prediction #1: Host Samuel L. Jackson will yell. A lot.
Is this a little bit of a layup? Of course it is! But, didn’t you hear what we said in the intro to this list? We went 0-for-10 with our Grammy Award predictions. 0-FOR-FREAKING-10! We can’t afford to get off to a slow start. So, please, Samuel L.: You love to yell, so YELL! YELL AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN!!!!!!!
Prediction #2: D’Angelo will be at the top of the Trending Topics list for a month after the BET Awards air.
Do you have any idea how long we’ve been waiting for D’Angelo to start performing again? YEARS! We bet you have, too. And, now, after all those years, he’s finally making a comeback. If that doesn’t get people talking—about his voice, about how he looks, about his choice of outfit—we don’t know what will.
Prediction #3: Cissy Houston will single-handedly cause Twitter to crash—and force everyone watching the BET Awards to spend their night flooding their Facebook timelines.
D’Angelo will be big on Twitter. No doubt about it. But, Whitney Houston’s mom is gonna be HUGE. She’s set to pay tribute to her late daughter on stage at the BET Awards, which will no doubt cause a ton of Twitter traffic. So much, in fact, that we wouldn’t be surprised to see the entire site crash as soon as she sings her first note. Hopefully BET saves her performance for the end. Otherwise, Facebook might go down, too.
Prediction #4: Skip Bayless will present LeBron James with the “Subway Sportsman of the Year” award.
Talk about shutting down Twitter! This would almost be too perfect…
Prediction #5: No one will ask Chris Brown or Meek Mill whether they have any beef while they’re both backstage getting ready for their BET Awards performances.
Wishful thinking?
Prediction #6: Kim Kardashian will wear the same dress that she wore to a Lakers game with Kanye West last month.
More wishful thinking?
Prediction #7: Somehow, someway, Rick Ross will end up topless on the BET stage.
No more wishful thinking. Put the kids to bed. This could get ugly.
Prediction #8: 2 Chainz will perform 22 times.
After looking at the list of BET Awards performers, it’s pretty clear that 2 Chainz is going to be performing a lot on Sunday night. Is there anyone on that list that he doesn’t have a song with? Maybe Yolanda Adams. But, hey: There’s still time between now and Sunday night to make that happen. What do ya say, Yolanda?!
Prediction #9: Someone other than Nicki Minaj will win the “Best Female Hip Hop Artist” award.
Hey, we said these predictions would be “off-the-wall,” didn’t we? So, we’re gonna go with…Diamond! Er, no. We mean Trina! No, no, no. Actually, let’s choose Brianna Perry. Yeah, that sounds right. Final answer. She’s DEFINITELY going to win over Miss Minaj! (No, we won’t put any money on this one. Sorry!)
Prediction #10: Oh, and sorry to ruin the surprise, but…Nicki Minaj will walk down the red carpet with the “Pope” again.
Nice try, Nicki. But, we’re not falling for this one again! So, how’d we do? A perfect 10-for-10—or what?