Finding out that your partner is unfaithful is one of the worst feelings in the world, especially when you put so much into your relationship. It’s like when someone breaks your heart?that’s what it feels like and you don’t wish that on your worst enemy.
My relationship with Eric [Williams] now is OK but we just have to take it day to day. It’s a difficult healing process because when someone breaks your trust it’s hard to regain that. I have trust issues anyway because I don’t know about people’s motives, so I think beginning to trust again is the first step to recovery. But it’s very difficult. To be honest with you, I still don’t trust my husband. When he leaves out or turns that corner, I don’t know what’s going to happen, which is sad, but for me, that’s how I’m able to deal with it.
My friends were making a point that if I cheat on him back then it’s not really cheating if he did it first. But I’m like two wrongs don’t make a right. I don’t think that that’s the solution because it snowballs into a bigger problem. On a personal level, I decided that I needed to focus on myself because for a long time it was always about him and his schedule, and what he needs so now I’m focusing on me. You should do something for yourself whether it’s a hobby you want to take up or a class. Don’t put all your eggs into the relationship. That’s a good part of just making your self feel better.
You can’t put a time on the healing process because every individual is different. But communication is the key to everything. Both people have to be on the same page and you have to be honest. If you’re not going to be honest with the communication then there’s no point. Marriage is important because it’s a great union between a man and a woman. God intended for us to get married. I’m a victim of divorce and I never wanted my marriage to fail because I never wanted to end up like my parents. I don’t want to be a failure.
Everybody’s situation is different but when you’re constantly miserable and there’s absolutely no happiness then that’s a point when you should consider leaving. Life is too short and no one is promised tomorrow. The ultimate goal is to be happy and that’s with or without your partner. If they can’t do it for you, then maybe you’re better off alone.