10 Things We Expect To See At Kim And Kanye's Wedding
October 29, 2013 - 5:45 pm
1. A custom-built wedding venue designed by Kanye and the "five architects" that he's been working with recently
We actually don't think Kim and Kanye are going to get married anytime soon. Reason being, you just know that Kanye is gonna mess around and build the place that he gets married at, don't you? This is a guy who literally went to a lumber yard to pick out every piece of wood that would be used to build his Bel Air mansion! So he's not going to scout a bunch of wedding venues that he kinda, sorta likes like most people. He'll make it instead and help design it.
Photo Credit: Daily Mail
2. A 50-piece orchestra, a marching band, a dozen DJs, a handful of opera singers, and Coldplay (and he's still going to have to perform himself)
Because Kanye West is, well, Kanye West, people expect a lot from his wedding when it comes to music. So he can't just hire a DJ and call it a day. Nooooooo. Instead, he'll need to include all the musicians listed above and he'll have to find time to perform a song or two during the ceremony just to keep everyone happy. We'll give him bonus points if he goes on a rant during his performance and yells, "THE MEDIA DOESN'T CONTROL MY WEDDING! I CONTROL MY WEDDING!"
Photo Credit: 92Q
3. A fleet of white Lamborghini Aventador limousines
Did you know that these are real things?! Well, they're about to be real things at least. Lambo is creating a bunch of them right now for famous people to use because, you know, regular limos just aren't getting the job done anymore. And we fully expect Kim and Kanye to be two of the first people in the world to have them. Alllllll of them! Just wait until they pull up to Kanye's hand-crafted wedding venue in one of these.
Photo Credit: Motor Trend
4. A priest, a minister, a rabbi, and one representative from every other faith on the planet
Kanye is a pretty religious guy. If you've listened to any of his music, then you already know that. So when he gets married, he'll probably want his wedding to be recognized by the church. Every church. The altar may look like one big "A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar…" joke.
Photo Credit: Chapel Hill
5. $2,500 dinner napkins created by Riccardo Tisci
You know what meeting we'd love to witness? When Kanye fires the wedding planner because he or she isn't taking the dinner napkin selection seriously enough. Most people who are getting married don't give a second thought to the dinner napkins. But we can see Kanye being all "THE DINNER NAPKINS ARE THE FIRST THING PEOPLE SEE WHEN THEY SIT DOWN! THEY NEED TO SAY 'YO, THIS IS THE DOPEST $&%^*#@ WEDDING OF ALL TIME!'" about it. So you can pretty much bank on Ye's dinner napkins being as expensive as your entire dream wedding.
Photo Credit: Wedding Ideas
6. A wedding party that features the Kardashian sisters on one side and everyone that was featured on "Swagga Like Us" on the other
Kim's side of the wedding party is easy to predict. But who in the world will Kanye pick? We honestly aren't sure. But if we had to guess—er, or better yet, if we had to handpick a lineup that would make us laugh—we would definitely pick the "Swagga Like Us" crew and let Jay Z (the best man…obviously), Lil Wayne and T.I. do the honors. No one has swagger like these four guys.
Photo Credit: Rap-Up
7. A throne
What did you think Kanye was going to sit on at his wedding? A regular chair? Oh.
Photo Credit: Telegraph
8. Soul food served on Hermes plates
Remember when Kim and Kanye first started dating and she made him a plate of soul food and put it on a Hermes plate? Of course you do. It almost blew up the Internet! So it wouldn't be right for these two to get married and not serve their first signature dish to their guests. Don't worry, we're sure Kanye will pick out a lot of other foods with names that are impossible to pronounce to serve, too. But the soul food is a must at this celebration.
Photo Credit: Necole Bitchie
9. At least 100 bouquets that feature at least half of the flowers that are on this list
There's one flower on that list called a Kadupol Flower (pictured above) that is literally priceless because it can't be picked, transported somewhere else, and then displayed before it dies. We can pretty much guarantee that that's the flower Kanye already has picked out for the centerpieces. R.I.P. to Kanye's first 50 florists!
Photo Credit: The Richest
10. Jesus (or, at the very least, this guy dressed as Jesus)
If there's going to be a wedding that features water getting turned into wine, it's going to be Kanye's wedding. Believe that!
Photo Credit: MTV