5 THINGS KIM KARDASHIAN COULD HAVE BEEN DOING AT KANYE WEST'S NYC APARTMENT LAST WEEK
KANYE AND KIM 1
Explanation #1: Kanye was giving Kim a preview of the new G.O.O.D. Music single, "Mercy."
What did you do when you heard "Mercy" for the first time? You pressed rewind, right? So did Kim. Over…and over…and over again. Just like you, she listened to the track for six hours on repeat, texted her friends her favorite lyrics, and then got into an argument about how 2 Chainz had a better verse than Kanye. The only difference between you and her? She had Kanye right next to her while she listened, so the argument was with him. And it got really, really heated. Don't hate.
KANYE AND KIM 2
Explanation #2: Kim introduced Kanye to the game Draw Something—and then sat there while he spent eight hours drawing his first picture.
We all have that one friend that we play Draw Something with who takes forever to go because he or she adds painstaking details to their pictures, right? Stick figures will do the trick in that game, but they insist on adding every single last detail to their drawings. We'd imagine 'Ye fits into that category of people. In fact, we know he does. So, maybe Kim introduced him to the game that night and didn't know what she was getting herself into. It got her into a hell of a lot of trouble with the paparazzi the next morning…but someone out there got an awesome picture of a tiger that night courtesy of Kanye.
KANYE AND KIM 3
Explanation #3: An episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians happened to be on when they got back to Kanye's place. And then another one. And then another one. And then…"Damn it! Have we really been watching this for eight hours?"
Isn't that how it always happens? We never find ourselves thinking, "Man, I can't wait to watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians tonight!" And yet, there we are later that tonight huddled up around the TV, watching a Keeping Up… marathon, and helping Kim buy her next house in the process. Damn that show!
KANYE AND KIM 4
Explanation #4: Kim was looking for the bathroom, walked into Kanye's fur closet, and got lost for the entire night.
Sorry, PETA. But, Kanye wasn't lying when he rapped about his mink dragging on the floor on "Theraflu." We imagine he's got a whole closet full of them somewhere in his NYC apartment. And, if you take a wrong turn and find yourself surrounded by dozens of them, you might not make it out of there alive.
KANYE AND KIM 5
Explanation #5: Kim didn't want to sleep alone after she saw…this.
We've had trouble sleeping since Friday when we first laid eyes on this photo from a shoot that Kim's ex Kris Humphries took part in recently. What's with the mask, Kris? And the make-up? And the…AHHHHHHH! Dude, are you in your skivvies? No wonder poor Kim needed Kanye to help her sleep!
See? That's all Kanye was doing. Just helping Kim get to sleep. Now, please: Get back to your regularly-scheduled lives. Nothing more to see here!