9 Signs You’re An Old Raver Clinging To The Past

November 14, 2013 - 5:39 pm by Sarah Polonsky

We’re giving it you straight: What you are about to read may prove that simply because you were a raver “back in the day” does not mean planning for mega bucks in EDM is a wise move. Just in case you are one of the many lost souls harboring big business plans to crack the dance music market we decided it was our duty to raise some red flags. Don’t be too frustrated. Instead of defeat, go forth in plur and feel liberated, knowing that you can give up the goose and enjoy the remaining foggy memories from before EDM.

Take a deep breath; it’s time to discover (what you probably knew all along) if you’re an old raver clinging to the past via these nine telltale signs. ?

1. You harp on and on about how much you hate massive festivals because they are filled with kids. You proceed to bitch about not being able to score a free ticket even though you’ve “known the promoters since they were handing out flyers in the ‘90s,” claiming the only reason for wanting to go to said festival is purely for “research purposes” to help build your latest “EDM” marketing scheme. Photo Credit: Getty Images

2. It frustrates you that kids today go to live DJ sets strictly to do Molly albeit, you used to pop pressed pills like vitamins. Needles to say, you will dabble with the Molly... on occasion. Photo Credit: Getty Images

3. You remember when Tiësto was a trance DJ and still remind everyone that it sucks to see DJs become mainstream. Perhaps you missed the memo about Tiësto’s net worth. Photo Credit: Getty Images

4. Since you ran a record store once you secretly yearn to work at Beatport, but can’t for the life of you figure out how it works and don’t see an in-- even though you've partied with the platform's CEO Matt Addell “a bunch of times.”

5. It makes no sense to you why anyone would twerk when there's the option to start a breakdance circle. Photo Credit: Getty Images

6. You were a club promoter in the '90s who still looks like Ed Hardy and have been blabbing to people about your big plans to throw festivals for three years or more. Photo Credit: DC Clubbing

7. You’ve seen Sasha and Digweed perform as Sasha & Digweed and are hatching out a way to make that happen again. Photo Credit: Getty Images

8. Nobody wants to come to your place anymore because you always force guests to watch the same house music videos on YouTube so you can point out every EDM producer who sampled it. This routine is always followed by a full rundown of your vinyl collection. Photo Credit: Off The Wagon

9. You were the house drug dealer at the hottest nightclub before police crackdowns made that job nearly obsolete. Still, you would never EVER pop a bottle while out clubbing these days because you insist, “back in the day it wasn’t about the money just the music.” Photo Credit: Bottle Sparkler

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