'Basketball Wives' Finale Recap: Kenya Returns, Suzie Fights, And Is This The End?
October 22, 2013 - 4:06 pm
1. Evelyn Says Thank You
The episode kicks off with the ladies praising Evelyn for pulling off a successful presentation of her clothing line during London Fashion Week. Later, Evelyn invites Suzie and Tami out for drinks and proceeds to thank them for offering a shoulder to cry on in the wake of her breakup with Chad Johnson. Evelyn goes on to say that she won’t be getting back with Chad. You know, despite him actively courting her via Twitter (again) as recent as two weeks ago.
In any event, Tami responds to Evelyn's appreciation by declaring, “We got your back.” However, as Evelyn confirmed a few weeks ago in various interviews, she no longer speaks to Tami and doesn’t want the energy she brings in her life anymore. So they keep it cute and phony on the show, but they don’t really see it for each other.
I imagine Suzie and Evelyn are still cool in the sense that she’s a co-worker she’d drink half priced drinks with during filming, but I doubt Ev is telling her admittedly big-mouthed self her business. My heart is so warmed from all this affection. I can barely stand it.
2. The Wives of Basketball
Shaunie O’Neal will be taking her first play, The Wives of Basketball, to a city near you. Based on what they featured last night, I’ll wait for it to air on BET on a dark and stormy Sunday afternoon in 2015. But you know, if you’re into Black stage plays that mix sex, melodrama and songs about Jesus, get yourself a ticket and enjoy the show.
I’m not mad at Shaunie for milking this gimmick for all it's worth. Nonetheless, a fictionalized basketball player being charged up about infidelity and then following up with a song-plea to Jesus threw me off.
3. Meet The Stalker
You knew the segment in which Tasha Marbury confronted her alleged talker would be some bullshit the second said stalker entered the room and said, “Hey, Evelyn!” This woman is someone who's an obvious fan of the show and is way too eager to appear on camera and act a complete, faux-crazy fool to capture as many precious minutes of airtime as possible.
Monet has no answers as to why she's been chasing Tasha, her man and her new fake friends on the show. She's literally just giddy to be around them all. This is what I mean when I say this show needs to join Flavor of Love in the reality show afterlife. If this is the best drama the show can come up with it, it’s time to hang it up, flat screen.
4. Return of the Wack
Fans didn’t care about Kenya Bell’s musical dreams when she was on the show, so one wonders why producers thought we’d care now that she is no longer apart of the cast. Kenya still can’t sing or dance and her songs still suck. I’m sure she’s a lovely woman in person, but I wouldn’t buy her single even if she gave me an iTunes gift card.
Of all the people to invite back, why did handlers go with this angle? Did Jennifer Williams say no? What about Royce Reed? Hell, I’d even take the sight of Gloria or one of the other actual Basketball Wives: L.A. cast members.
5. Punks Jump Up To Get Beat Down
Bless Suzie Ketchum’s heart because I can understand why after years and years of being everyone’s punching bad, she wanted to huff, puff and blow someone else’s damn house down for a change. Unfortunately, she picked the wrong one in Kenya Bell. Tami describes their altercation the best when she matter-of-factly told Suzie, “I love you, but she beat your ass.” We didn’t get to see the actual fight – damn you petitioners – but we saw Suzie’s bloody lip.
That’s pretty much all the confirmation we needed. I will say, though, Suzie, good for you saying, “I’m not just gonna sit there and be a pussy.” No, you’re not, but Shaunie was right in that fighting isn’t your thing. It’s one thing to be more assertive, it’s another to rush someone knowing you’re in need of a few dozen kickboxing classes.
The fight ends the finale and if it’s the last segment of this show that ever airs, goodbye. Thanks for the memories…not so much the ones from this season. I’m blocking most of those out. BYE.