'Basketball Wives' Recap: 'Angry Birds' And A Bromitzvah

1. Party And Bullsh-t At the beginning of the show, Tami and Evelyn link up for liquor and a recap of the birthday party that Tami blew off after she developed an eye-ache or an eyesore or pink eye adjacent (after attending Tasha’s Weave Bar opening in that alleged dusty ass building). You can imagine how this goes. Mad Woman tells Maddest Woman that the party was lame and that Tasha was late, so she, Suzie and Shaunie ejected themselves early. The two also mention Tasha’s lack of business expertise and let even more shade pour out. What the two didn’t talk about, though, is their previous confrontation at dinner. Maybe that’s because Tami had more of an issue than Evelyn did, which is why Tami meets up with her life coach once again to dismiss the matter. The life coach celebrates Tami for “all of the work she’s doing.” She must like that production company check 'cause I’m not seeing the progress. I wear contacts, though, so maybe I’ve got an eye issue, too, Tami. Hold on. Let me get some eye drops. :::Two minutes later::: OH! Evelyn didn’t get sucker smacked or choked out. Congratulations, Tami. You’re one less cuss out away from appearing on OWN’s Super Soul Sunday with Oprah.

3. Tasha Is Mad Before Tasha shows up to show how rude and petty she can be with people she just met, Evelyn and Shaunie alert us to the “The Angry Birds” story that they saw “on the blogs.” Which blogs, you ask? None that I read, but whatever. This storyline isn’t going to manufacture itself. Let these women work. For the record, the angry birds are Shaunie and Evelyn and as “the blogs” tell it, the two stormed out of Tasha’s party in a fit of rage. Speaking of anger, Tasha comes into the restaurant mad as hell and ready to fuss with the other four women. She starts off by saying that Evelyn should’ve stayed at the party because they're trying to repair their relationship. Tasha then tells Suzie and Shaunie that given they’re trying to build a friendship, they shouldn’t have left either. As she asks aloud, “Who comes to a birthday party and leaves? Who does that?” This woman is so draining and she just got here. Despite Tasha being absolutely ridiculous, Shaunie apologizes for leaving her boring party after two hours of waiting. Tasha, who makes it clear that she takes her birthday very seriously, doesn't really accept the apology. When Evelyn asks if she got the gift they left them – a blinged out penis worth “$300 or something – Tasha says she did, but notes that she prefers a warm body. Tasha then asks Tami where was her gift? Why did they let Jennifer Williams go again?

4. Evelyn Hangs Out With Bow Wow’s Mama Since this is The Evelyn Lozada Show, there was no way we weren’t going to hear about Evelyn Lozada independent of the other women. As Evelyn rolls with Mama Bow Wow, we discover that Evelyn is working on a clothing line. The line is pretty basic thus far – sweats, denim, etc. A very confident Evelyn says that she knows the clothing line will do well. I’m glad this scene happened because it confirmed what I always felt about Evelyn: She’s like J. Lo, but without the actual talent. I imagine back in the 1990s, Evelyn heard of Jenny and thought to herself, “I may not be able to half-sing or dance, but you know what, chick? I’m gonna catch up with you some day.” And in her own way, she has. Good for you, Evelyn.