Doing The Math: The History of Hip-Hop Love Triangles
July 20, 2014 - 3:17 pm
The variables: Ice-T + CoCo + rapper Ap.9
Level of math skills needed to understand the love triangle: Basic Arithmetic
The equation: In 2013, Ice-T and his wife Coco dealt with explosive rumors that Coco had a fling with an unknown rapper named AP.9. The pictures were hard to ignore. Ice-T Tweeted his displeasure about the pics; CoCo denied anything improper. Ap.9 however was very blunt: “We had sex unprotected. I hope she isn’t pregnant.”
The solution: There’s three sides to every story. But a picture is worth a thousand words.
Chances that CoCo just wanted to make Ice-T jealous: 80%
Chances that AP.9 thought this would make him relevant: 99%
Chances he will ever be mentioned for anything besides this love triangle: 5%
Result: Although it was reported that Ice-T filed for divorce, they remain married a year after the drama.
The variables: Amber Rose + Kanye West + Kim Kardashian (±Reggie Bush) (±Kris Humphries)
The variables: Rihanna + Chris Brown + Drake
Level of math skills needed to understand the equation: Pre-Calculus
The equation: Rihanna bounced back and forth between Chris and Drake several times. In 2012, the rivalry turned violent when members of Chris and Drake’s crews came to blows in an NYC nightclub. How did the fight start? Police sources told the media that Drake refused a bottle of Champagne offered by Chris Brown and attached a note that said: “I’m still f-------g Rihanna.”
Chances that Rihanna will be subtly mentioned in future songs by both Chris and Drake: 100%
The Result: Rihanna seems to have moved on from both guys. And while they may have used their relationship with her to throw shots at each other, it seems to have all blown over now. Chris and Drake have been spotted in the studio together and Chris Brown appeared in a skit with Brown at the ESPYs.
The variables: Christina Milian + Jas Prince + Lil Wayne (± Nivea) ?(±The Dream)
Level of math skills needed to understand the equation: Quantum Mechanics and Advanced Statistics
The equation [part 1]: Christina Milian and Jas Prince were engaged until June of this year. Just weeks later, she was hand-in-hand with Lil Wayne at the Espy’s. (Wayne recently dropped some suspicious lyrics about a girl named ‘Tina’ who needs a king and not a prince.)
The equation [part 2]: You’ll need scratch paper for this one. Lil Wayne, producer The Dream and singers Christina Milian and Nivea actually form more of a square than a triangle. Nivea has one son with Wayne, (we’ll call him Baby A) and three children with TheDream, (we’ll call them B, C and D.) Christina Milian also has a child with TheDream. (We’ll call her E.) If Christina and Wayne have a child, then that baby, (we’ll call him Weezy F Baby), will be half-siblings with Baby A but not Baby B, C or D. Which means that TheDream and Christina’s baby E will be half-siblings with Baby B, C, D and F—but not baby A. (Oh! And don’t forget, hypothetical Baby F would also be half-siblings with Wayne’s three other children, bringing Baby F’s potential number of siblings to seven.)
See. It all adds up.
Chances That Christina’s Career Will Take Off If She’s Dating Wayne: .005%
Chances That This Family Will Have The Most Awkward Family Holidays Ever: 100%