Five Rap Beefs That Should Have Never Happened

November 22, 2012 - 1:24 am by Evan Schwartz

Look, beef is a necessary component of rap music. Not EVERYONE could possibly be the best rapper, drive the best cars, have the best style, consort with the best women, etc, etc. Maybachs, G6s, Rolexes - all mass produced. Anyone can own one, provided they have the money.

Plus, for all the posturing, rappers are incredibly sensitive. Say one thing, even subliminally, about a rapper, or his crew, or his hometown, and BOOM - rap beef. So with all of the boasting, it's inevitable that rappers will butt heads from time to time. Here are some of the more... one-sided affairs.

Young Gunz vs. Katt Williams What prompted this? A line off the Young Gunz biggest (well, only) hit record, "Can't Stop Won't Stop." They spit: "And we don't mess with the funny type/Fake ass pimps like Money Mike." Sorta clever. Fairly innocuous. They basically alluded to a role that Williams played in Friday After Next, insinuating that the pimp character was fake. Because it was. Because he was playing a character. But for Katt, it seems impossible to separate the persona from the man sometimes. So he came back with a diss track, SERIOUSLY THIS HAPPENED, in which he goes in on Chris and Neef. Even The Game stopped by to support his... friend? I don't know. This one is inexplicable, but Katt Williams is nuts enough that it makes a perverse sense.

Lil Flip vs. T.I. Poor Lil' Flip. He got lost in the shuffle of Lil' rappers, but managed to produce some pretty ridiculous music before disappearing. But this whole squabble with T.I. started over some perceived slight about who was King of the South. I don't know what about "Sunshine" convinced Flip he was the King, but T.I. took it upon himself to just... eviscerate poor Flip. The whole leprechaun suits thing was a bad start, but then came "99 Problems (But Flip Ain't One)," slightly better than Jay-Z's pro-Obama remix from earlier this November. Then came some physical fights, and some gunshots traded, and then... well, you tell ME where Flip is today.

Joe Budden vs The Game Joe Budden is a pretty good rapper, and he's had pretty good shelf life. But, his name is Joe Budden, not BuddenSSS, dammit. It's a real sticking point. And so Game released a song called "Buddens," and the hook is just him repeating "Buddens" about 30 times. And at a turtle pace, Game just makes fun of Budden and "Pump It Up" and by the 4th minute of the song, it starts to get a little sad. They DID play a Joe Budden song in "Mean Girls," so... there's that.

Shaq vs. Kobe The problem with this beef is that, A) neither of these men are rappers, and B) Shaq is infinitely more likable than Kobe. Kobe ratted out Shaq during his police interviews after the rape allegations, claiming Shaq cheated on his wife all the time. He also is generally perceived as more cold, calculating, and straight-up mean, whereas Shaq is the big goofy dude on TV who asked Kobe how his ass tastes. There was just no way this was ever going in Kobe's favor, although adding a sixth ring this June may turn the tables.

Bow Wow vs. Soulja Boy Taking shots at Soulja Boy is like egging a house - it's probably fun, but like... the house can't rap, so what's the point? And for Bow Wow of all people - I thought child rappers have to stick together! But he essentially recorded a song called "What I Think About You" that begins with clips of better rappers hating on Soulja Boy, including Snoop Dogg and Cassidy, while Bow screams "this is what they think about you!" That's not really a diss song, that's just you jumping on the pile after the whistle's been blown. That's a 15-yard penalty in the NFL, Bow Wow.

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