The Song: "Fast Lane"
Royce's Best Line: "My slow flow is euphoric, it's like I rap endorphins/I made a pact with the devil that says, I'll let you take me, you let me take this shovel, dig up the corpses, Jack Kevorkian"
Eminem's Best Line: "Let me tell you what this pretty little dame's name is 'cause she's kinda famous/And I hope that I don't sound too heinous when I say this Nicki Minaj/But I wanna stick my penis in your anus!"
Bad or Evil? BAD! The first single from Hell is just that: a single. So don't be fooled by the lines listed above. They misbehave a little bit, but this song sounds like something that was written to get them a little bit of exposure—and not the kind that comes from an appearance on The O'Reilly Factor. Too bad Nate Dogg didn't get a chance to grace the hook and really make this sound like a commercial effort.
The Song: "The Reunion"
Royce's Best Line: "She said, I'm feelin' your ego. Wait, am I talkin' wrong?/I said, Nah, I'm a walkin' Kanye and Beyonce song"
Eminem's Best Line: "Shut the fuck up now or get your feelings hurt/Worse than my last chick when I accidentally pocket-dialed her/And she heard me spreading AIDS rumors about her"
Bad or Evil? EVIL! If you're a female, we suggest keeping your finger on the "Next" button when this track comes on. This joint is bound to make at least a few of you out there feel disrespected.
The Song: "Above The Law"
Royce's Best Line: "I stay violent, y'all go the peace route/You got a mouth like Kanye, I'll knock your whole bottom row of teeth out"
Eminem's Best Line: "Fuckin' mistletoe/All over the world, I stuck my ass up under it, now pucker up them and kiss it, ho"
Bad or Evil? BAD! The uptempo production effort and sample courtesy of Mr. Porter do the trick here as they make the lyrics from Em and Royce sound even more vicious than they really are.
The Song: "I'm On Everything," featuring Mike Epps
Royce's Best Line: "Menace to Society, I feel sorry for your mother/Me and Vishis on 'shrooms, call us the Mario Brothers"
Eminem's Best Line: "I'll crush your brain like I'm crushing pills, what the fuck's the mothafuckin' deal?/This shit's making me feel like I'm trying to do a mothafuckin' cartwheel up a hill"
Bad or Evil? EVIL! Em doesn't do drugs anymore, but that doesn't mean he can't rap about doing them. And Royce may or may not dabble in them, but he sure sounds like he does here. And, of course: Kudos to Mr. Porter for flipping the Mike Epps standup sample so effectively.
The Song: "A Kiss"
Royce's Best Line: "Stretch a nigga out, I'm the new Tae Bo/'Bout to cross over, I'm the new Ivo/'Bout to save a couple of these bitches, that's right, I'm the new Bible"
Eminem's Best Line: "Condoms are in the glove compartment, let's start it/Think I'm joking? What am I sitting her trying to make fart sounds with my arm pits?"
Bad or Evil? EVIL! Uh, yeah, Remember how we told the females out there that they'd probably want to fast-forward through "The Reunion"? Well, they might want to just delete this one from their hard drives altogether—especially after hearing Em's last verse.
The Song: "Lighters," featuring Bruno Mars
Royce's Best Line: "Y'all niggas just gossiping like bitches on the radio and TV, see me, we fly/Y'all buggin' out like Wendy Williams staring at a bee hive"
Eminem's Best Line: "Had a dream I was king, I woke up still king/Rap game's nipple is mine for the milking"
Bad or Evil? BAD! Put your hand up if you ever thought you'd see the day where Bad Meets Evil and Bruno Mars (?) were featured on the same CD. Now go directly to hell, because you're lying to us and to yourself. It works—and it'll probably be the only huge hit to surface from the album—but it's definitely not what you'd expect to hear.
The Song: "Take From Me"
Royce's Best Line: "No one ever blows up your phone just to talk, I don't make money just to loan it to y'all/Tell a nigga that then you wildin', it's like dialin' 'em and then talking to a hole in the wall"
Eminem's Best Line: "When my music you take so subtle, just to give it away/To people who don't even appreciate flows, mothafucker I'm livid today"
Bad or Evil? BAD! This is one of the few tracks on the album that actually has a fairly strong concept behind it. So it's not nearly as wild and crazy as some of the other songs that are presented here.
The Song: "Loud Noises," featuring Slaughterhouse
Royce's Best Line: "Neither one of us fight fair/You are literally looking at Woody and Wesley in a movie with a white boy ain't got to jump nowhere 'cause I'm here"
Eminem's Best Line: "What kind of rapper would I be before I let another rapper think he's hot?/I'll bury my face in his stinky twat and go a-la-la-la-la!"
Bad or Evil? EVIL! Do you like to listen to rap songs that feature an overabundance of—gasp—rapping? Then this song was basically written, recorded, and produced for you. Enjoy.
The Song: "Living Proof"
Royce's Best Line: "I'ma get rich or I'ma die trying/That's why it's either kill or be killed, so call me suicide homicide Ryan"
Eminem's Best Line: "That'll be the day I say I ain't poop/Shit, the day that I don't straight shoot, I'll drop out of my anti-women hate group"
Bad or Evil? BAD! LMFAO at Eminem's line. The first of two bonus tracks on the Hell Deluxe Edition is just as good as anything on the album thanks to another strong production effort from Mr. Porter that compliments both Em and Royce's style well. They don't say anything too crazy here but it's still living proof that these are two of the best rappers doing it.
The Song: "Echo"
Royce's Best Line: "I'm fly like I'm killing the scene like I'm a villain with wings/I'll sleep when I'm six feet deep, right now I'm living a dream"
Eminem's Best Line: "My life is Truman Show, all I have is music, ho/I stopped chasing every chick under the sun many moons ago"
Bad or Evil? EVIL! The second Deluxe Edition bonus track makes us wish DJ Khalil had contributed more production efforts to this album. But as is, it's a solid track to close out the Bad Meets Evil set that features Em and Royce doing what they do best: Meeting at the intersection of bad and evil. Good job, fellas.