Tim Dog's Six Most Hilarious Verses

February 15, 2013 - 11:29 pm by Keith Murphy

There are two moments that instantly come to mind following the untimely passing of Timothy “Tim Dog” Blair from a seizure due to complications from diabetes at the age of 46. The Bronx rapper will forever be known as the brazen shit-starter who had the unmitigated gall to take on N.W.A. before Tupac went nuclear on Biggie on the hilarious 1991-year diss track, “Fuck Compton.” And then there’s his surreal appearance on NBC’s Dateline, which detailed the THE DOG in all his unapologetic, kiss-my-ass glory as he faced 2011 grand larceny charges for ripping a woman out of nearly $30,000 in an online dating scam.

But the former memory epitomizes Tim Dog’s forgotten contributions to hip-hop. To be frank, the man’s unabashedly stripping down of Big Daddy Kane’s the-a-the-b-the-c-the-d style and his penchant for saying the outlandish in a loud-and-proud manner ("She wanted me to pee in her face/(so what did you do?) I pissed in her face!") made Tim Dog comedic gold even if he was dead serious most of the time.

Which is why VIBE decided to cobble together six of Tim Dog’s most memorable (and hilarious) rap lines. Turn these joints all the way up and pour out a little something for the Dog.

Song: “I’ll Wax Anybody” Line: “Suckas get mad, they can drink my piss/You wanna run in my face like you're man?/I'll kick you in the balls like Jackie Chan…” The urine-as-a-beverage quip doesn’t need much of an explanation. But it’s clear Tim Dog was not trying to win any rap battles with his Jackie Chan simile. But why spoil the fun? The man was on a roll.

Song: “I Get Wrecked” feat. KRS-One Line: “Baby baby um, maybe maybe um/You better run, cause you know I have a gun/Bang bang boogie, up jumps the boogie/Take that bullshit rap down the street/A skippedy be bop be bop, Scooby Doo/That bullshit's not me, that bullshit is you…” Now Dog gets credit for referencing the Sugar Hill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight” in a song featuring one of hip-hop’s greatest MC’s. It’s a quite clever line that never takes itself too seriously. And its obvious Tim Dog is not one for bullshit, no? One can only imagine the incredulous look on KRS-One’s face when he heard such a rewind-worthy gem.

Song: “Who Rocks” Line: “Of the delicious, bubbleicious/Lyrical expeditious ways that I display that I'm getting all the kisses/Like I'm Hershey, the worst, G…Think that you can hurt me/I shot my A&R cuz the sucka tried to jerk me…” Two things…Tim Dog had a serious candy jonz’ when he was writing this little ditty along with Ultra partner Kool Keith. And his label A&R is somewhere playing cards with Jimmy Hoffa. Did we mention the man was not to be F’d with?

Song: “Bitch With A Perm” Line: “Nigga I'm kickin’ yo ass like an animal/Let's do this nigga/Nigga, nigga with long hair/Nigga you's a bitch with a perm/Nigga that's what you is/So don't ever try to front on me nigga…” Not sure what’s funnier. That dude felt the need to drop the N-word like his life depended on it or his unhealthy hatred for perms. It’s enough to almost make you forget that he’s dissing Snoop Dogg.

Song: “Goin’ Wild In The Penile” Line: “Cause I’m gonna stick ‘em, and vick ‘em, and lick ‘em, and dick ‘em, and run ‘em, and gun ‘em, and hold ‘em, and fold ‘em…and rape ‘em, and tame ‘em/Cuz I just can’t take ‘em!!!!” If Tim Dog’s unrelenting cadence doesn’t scare you, his harrowing, impoliticly correct tale of life behind bars will. Some advice: don’t go in the showers.

Song: “Fuck Compton” Lyrics: “Having that gang war/We want to know what you're fighting for?/Fighting over colors?/All that gang shit's for dumb motherfuckers!” We saved the best for last. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. “Fuck Compton” is classic material. Timothy went HAM on Eazy E, Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, and Ren. But there are plenty of quotable moments here. Such as his misogynistic yet laughably ridiculous impression of Dre’s former squeaky voice protégé Michel'le (“Do do do do dooo do do do do do do do/Shut the fuck up bitch, you can't sing…” And just for good measure, Tim Dog allows a bit of revenge for his target as “she” responds in an adlibbed, high-pitch diss, “Fuck You!” This dude.

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